Tuesday, January 29, 2008
{ 9:10 PM }
you called first thing in the morning to ask me about her.
thanks i appreciate it.
Chin Mu Yang called when i was on the way to school, saying that i counted the dough trays wrongly and i didnt top up the cheese container for today's morning.
Running nose and a fever halfway through the test. Canteen 4 for lunch and conversation with Thomas about sleeping pills. Overdosage kills.
Maths test after lunch was hard for me to concentrate as the noodles that i had made me uncomfortable plus the running fever in me. But well, as least i know how to get the 1st 2nd and 3rd part 1 question solve. Lol. steps are there but answers wrong.
AEL lessons was next. Was paying attention for first 45mins of the lessons but outta sudden i broke down and cried. sliently.
Supposed to meet CATS group for meeting but Shiyan said i looked very pale and not advisable to stay. Lol. And in the bus on the way back, outta sudden i cried, again. Seriously i dont know what the fcuk happened to me. thoughts of you and me and everything keeps playing and playing and playing.
Painkillers to stop the pain.
And you just msned me to not emo. Like hello, im human. i have feelings. I know you can get over it that fast, but i cant.
i told you im not emoing and all you said was Good(:
is that all you can say? I tell you now, i need reassurance. I bet you didnt know how upset i was yesterday. All you said was asking me about her. I know she's not involved in this and we got her pulled in. i ask you now, who is majority involved? both of us. ah nevermind. its just that to you, i became invisible and im not the one who broke down, its just you and her.
I said i had painkillers and im gona rest so talk later. you asked if its prescribed, i said i have my ways to get it. you told me not to hurt myself and dont hurt people around me, to hurt you if i want. Let me speak, firstly, nothing hurts more than of your sudden decision. and its not about hurting each other. its kinda like a flexibilty, reassurance, understanding kind of thing.
Hah. Like he will give a damn about it now.
how i wished friday really never happened.
