Wednesday, March 07, 2012
{ 2:35 AM }
It's been a year and one day since you left us. How are you doing on the other side big brother? I miss you.
The images of you lying down on the floor, in the living room when we all came to send you off for the last time, of you being laid down to rest. Such images been playing in my mind for months after your passing, till it eventually subside a little. Till I had a road accident yesterday morning.
We were on our way to the hospital and I saw Haziq, lying in pain. And I couldn't do anything to help. Tears was so close to fall out.
At the accident scene, everything happened so fast, I didn't know how to react.
When we got into the hospital, then i realised how serious was Haziq's injuries compared to mine.
Was feeling totally ashamed to feel my tears falling out, but I have to hold it back in no matter what.
He had to stitch his right knee and had a big patch of abrasion on his right arm.
My heart dropped when I was in the room where I saw the doctor's stitching procedures. It was quite a battle of emotions; to fight back my tears and smile to reassure him.
Was also in a rollercoaster of thoughts, realising I was a idiotically bad friend; The first thing after we skidded, I said to Haziq, "You just sent XiaoP for repairs."
Will somebody do me a honour of giving me one tight slap?
Instead of asking how is he, and all I said to him was "You just sent XiaoP for repairs." Seriously, I really need a punch.
After everything was sorta done at the hospital, his step dad came to pick him up and with Mag's help to send Haziq back home.
Got home about 6am, it was all okay when I got home, cleaned up. Until I got to my bed, closed my eyes and the image of the accident was on my mind. I think i lost it to the emotions devil.
Broke down and no idea when I fell asleep.
So now, its 7 March 2012, about 3am in the morning. Tried to get some rest awhile back but apparently I couldn't. Its like the moment I closed my eyes, the image of the accident appears.
Got up about noon time yesterday to see a thousands of texts and missed calls on the phone. Bought lunch for Haziq and went to the police station to do a report in the evening. Doesn't seemed like I did alot of stuffs but I'm having a slight headache now. Think I should head back to try get some rest and I'll visit you tmr!
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