Sunday, October 07, 2012
{ 1:11 AM }
Been a long and unstable week for us. So I had a psych. paper today after the usual BCI class, and no fail, mentally drained after.
After sitting in for quite a number of BCI class, I will somehow feel the inner peace within me whenever I hear the teacher recite a verse in Arabic.
And today, before class Boyfriend and I had a argument. I felt so tensed up whenever we quarrelled. Then I will keep crying cause I feel sad that he will say hurtful words cause I won't listen and the more I cry cause of the way he talks make me feel even more upset and the whole cycle just never ends.
I don't know how to solve issues when someone you love starts to talk to you like you don't matter and such. Feeling lost and upset and all the negative emotions and there, the boyfriend just feeling annoyed cause your crying annoys him.
Yeah those issues looks minor and seems surface bruised for some.
So anyway, we went for class and even though we missed out the first 40 mins of the session. Still managed to catch a little ball of what's the ongoing topic for today with room air condition of probably 10 degrees celsius.
After all the whats not, I felt ultra calm to hear the teacher recite a verse, before ending the class.
Maybe it's a calling for me to start practicing how to solat and feel the inner peace when praying and with God to overlook and bless.
It is like from the short verse that teacher recited seems like God's words to me for past week, that to seek God's grace.
I had been taking Boyfriend's time and energy for granted. And that I should be satisfied that the little of time spent together, Inshallah.
X,
Friday, October 05, 2012
{ 8:21 PM }
You start to cry while studying cause you don't know why you are taking papers of different module every week.
The littlest thing makes you sad for no reason.
No appetite.
Are these the signs of stress? Cause I feel like I'm going crazy.
